


So hit me where it hurts (say my name like it’s a bad word)

by EthanTheAnnus



Series: FrostIron Bingo 2019 [1]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Author describes Loki as “cool” far too often, First Kiss, FrostIron - Freeform, FrostIron Bingo 2019, Getting Together, Hanahaki Disease, I have the writing skills of a wet mouldy sock, If you want angst with a happy ending clap your hands, IronFrost - Freeform, James "Rhodey" Rhodes & Tony Stark Friendship, M/M, Magic, Some angst, Stephen and Tony’s friendship is just then insulting each other, Tony Feels, Tony Stark & Stephen Strange Friendship, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, antstrange - Freeform, fictional diseases, loki deserves love, so if you like this I’ll be surprised, tony is an idiot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-29
Updated: 2019-08-29
Packaged: 2020-09-29 12:28:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20436032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EthanTheAnnus/pseuds/EthanTheAnnus
Summary: “Tony here won’t get surgery.”“Surgery? What for?” Loki sounded genuinely curious, and Tony shot a glare at Rhodey.“Hanahaki,” Tony forced himself to reply, quietly. Loki’s eyes widened, a rare sight for the cold, calculating god.-OR-Tony has Hanahaki Disease. It’s only a matter of time before the god he’s got it for finds out, too.





	So hit me where it hurts (say my name like it’s a bad word)

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from Bad Word by Panicland!
> 
> Bingo card fill for square b2: Hanahaki Disease

Tony stared down at the flowers he’d managed to catch in his cupped hands; many had slipped through his fingers and now littered the floor, too. Roses and agapanthus and many others Tony couldn’t name, but knew would symbolise something similar to the few he could; love, hidden love, secret love, concealed love, unrequited love.

There were a few thrown in there that meant jealousy, time and sorrow, among other things. A rather odd mix of flowers, if he was honest; the colours clashed terribly, not complimenting each other at all. Some of the flowers seemed fresh and full of life, others withered and dead.

And all Tony could do was stare. Stare at the petals and stems and pollen that now covered his hands, the floor of his room, his house. Tony knew  _ exactly  _ what this was, what it meant, but he didn’t dare believe it.

Then he started coughing again, less violently than he had during the first bout, and a few more flowers spewed from his mouth. He could almost laugh at the fact that one of the flowers to show up meant denial, and would have laughed if it wasn’t so serious.

He had Hanahaki, one of the rarest diseases on the planet. Rare, but not unheard of; and exceptionally deadly. Only one thought ran through his mind as he stared down at the florally mess that was scattered across his palms.

_ Who the fuck do I have it for? _

———————|———————

Tony spent the next few days pondering this. The disease didn’t seem to flare up when he was around  _ anyone  _ he knew, so he guessed he wouldn’t find out that way. Most people found out because the disease would worsen around the person they loved, forcing petals and stems from their throat more often than usual.

That wasn’t happening for Tony, however, so he was stumped for how he’d find out. He was careful who he told about the disease, too. Rhodey, of course, and Pepper, whom he still trusted with his life despite their rocky breakup. 

He strictly instructed them not to tell Peter. The poor kid would start crying and blubbering about how Tony was going to die, and he certainly  _ wasn’t  _ planning on dying anytime soon.

In fact, Tony was planning on finding out who he had Hanahaki for, then either strangling them, kissing them or both. It wasn’t their fault, of course, but Tony wasn’t one to place the blame on himself.

He had tried to narrow down who it could be by having FRIDAY document who had just moved into the tower in the past few months, but it didn’t really help, since Stephen Strange now half lived there, Scott had moved completely in, Thor came and went as he pleased and for the past few weeks Loki seemed to have taken up residence in one of the guest rooms.

What Tony  _ could  _ do was rule out everyone who wasn’t them. Pepper, whom he had no feelings left for beyond the platonic. Rhodey, who he loved as a brother. Sam, who Tony had never felt close to and now wielded Cap’s shield, a painful reminder of the events in Germany. 

Bruce, who was another of Tony’s close friends (and was obviously head over heels for Thor, the absolute dork). Carol, who was a semi-new addition and radiated such fierce, chaotic, I-will-fuck-you-up lesbian energy that Tony was honestly a little scared of her.

Bucky, who Tony had made a grudging peace with (he too kind of scared him, at times). Clint had moved out of the Compound years back, to live with his family, which Tony respected completely. And then there was Natasha, silent, brooding Natasha who was barely seen ever since she hooked up with Okoye, the head of the Dora Milaje. In fact, she spent most of her time in Wakanda now… Tony got the feeling she fit in better there than she ever had in New York.

With honest to god no clue of who was causing the disease, Tony was starting to grow desperate. He didn’t know  _ how  _ he didn’t know; you think he’d be aware of who he’s attracted to, right? Wrong. Tony was clueless when it came to that shit.

Exhibit A; Pepper. He hadn’t even realised how he’d felt about her until  _ after  _ he’d been kidnapped by terrorists and shown his own mortality. It had made him realise that he needed to take chances where he could, live his life to the best because any day, it could be over.

In this case, however, his life was literally on the line and he  _ still _ had no fucking clue. Tony Stark, a world renowned genius, was a complete dumbass when it came to love. And with a disease like this, boy did that fucking  _ suck _ .

He sighed, leaning back on his chair down in his lab. He’d been spending a lot of time down here recently, more than usual, to avoid worsening the disease. Really he was just prolonging the inevitable.

“FRIDAY, tell Strange to get down here.”

_ “In nicer words, boss?”  _ The AI sounded amused, as amused as she could sound with her programmed voice.

“Tell him if he isn’t down here in five minutes I’ll tear his fucking cloak.”

_ “In nicer words, then, boss,”  _ FRIDAY said as a reply, humour evident in her robotic tone. Tony just shook his head, sighing for the second time that day. Only a few seconds later he was sitting up straighter in his chair as Stephen stepped regally through a portal and into his lab.

The sorcerer looked around with a disdainful gaze, in a way that said he disapproved of the careful chaos of Tony’s lab. There were things strewn about, in a sort of order that only made sense to Tony.

“I hope you haven’t called me to clean up after you, Stark,” Stephen said slowly, his gaze flicking over the mess.

“No,” Tony said quickly, shaking his head. “No, I called you here because I’ve got… a problem.”

Stephen gave him a look. “Please tell me it’s not got anything to do with your dick.”

“Oh my  _ god  _ that was  _ one time _ !”

“It remains a wonder to me how your dick got stuck inside your suit anyway.”

“Can we not talk about that?” Tony coughed, and caught the small spray of petals that came with it in his hand. “ _ This  _ is the problem I’m talking about.”

Stephen checked his watch. “What do you want me to do about it, Stark? And hurry it up, I’ve got a date with Scott at seven and I really need to get ready.”

For a moment, Tony couldn’t speak. Who’d have thought it; Dumbledore and the ant? Then he managed to pull himself from his shock.

“I was hoping your magic could help me find out who it is.”

Stephen stared at him for a moment, then burst out laughing. “You really are an idiot, Stark, if you don’t even know who you’ve fallen in love with.”

“See,  _ this  _ is why I didn’t ask for your help straight away,” Tony grumbled, but without any real malice. Stephen, meanwhile, was struggling to catch his breath between laughs.

“Alright, Stark, I know a spell I can cast,” he managed between fits of laughter. 

“Good,” Tony muttered, refusing to look at Stephen. “Just do it and get the fuck out of my lab, you bully.”

“I’m not the one who doesn’t know who I’ve fallen for,” Stephen replied cockily before beginning some sort of spell. Tony wasn’t one to believe in magic, but he had to admit it was handy.

Besides, he had Hanahaki disease, a rare disease that most chalked up to magic, to some curse way back in some ancient myth. Tony wasn’t sure what he believed about the disease’s origin, but it certainly  _ wasn’t  _ that.

“Loki.”

“Huh?” Tony had forgotten Stephen was there for a moment.

“I cast a spell to track your ‘love signature’, if you will. The trail leads clearly to Loki.”

Tony swore under his breath. “Of course it’s him.”

Stephen checked his watch for a second time and grimaced. “If I don’t go now, I’ll be late.”

“How can you be late if you can just magic yourself all nice for your date and then zip yourself over there through a glowing portal?”

Stephen just glared at Tony. “You’re welcome, Stark.”

———————|———————

“No. Fuck no.”

“Tony, you could die without it.”

“I’m not doing it. There’s too high a risk.”

“You might  _ die _ !” Rhodey’s voice was high with distress.

“I’d prefer to die with all my feelings in tact,” Tony replied slowly. He wouldn’t let Rhodey win this fight; the surgery to remove Hanahaki was far too risky, and would very likely end in Tony dying regardless, or losing all of his emotions for good.

Tony liked his emotions right where they were; okay, sometimes they sucked, but the feelings of love and happiness were worth it, in the end. Plus, Tony didn’t trust most surgeons as far as he could throw them.

“This sounds like an interesting discussion.”

Tony whirled around to spot Loki, standing in the doorframe, looking as cool and calm as ever, and he silently cursed the flowers in his lungs and throat. The disease liked to spike when Loki was around, Tony had found in the past few days, and right now was no exception.

He’d somehow managed to keep it from Loki, though. The god was still blissfully unaware of Tony’s illness, thank the stars.

“It’s nothing.” Tony was quick to stop Rhodey from revealing his condition, but apparently his friend had other ideas.

“Tony here won’t get surgery.”

“Surgery? What for?” Loki sounded genuinely curious, and Tony shot a glare at Rhodey.

“Hanahaki,” Tony forced himself to reply, quietly. Loki’s eyes widened, a rare sight for the cold, calculating god.

“How far along is it?”

Tony blinked, surprised at the concern in Loki’s tone. “I don’t know. I only… realised I even had it a few days ago.”

Loki took a pace closer. “I can help, if you like. My seidr may help to keep it at bay.”

Tony was touched by his concern, but knew it wouldn’t help at all. It was  _ Loki _ , and it would just spawn more flowers, not lessen them. “I… thank you. But I don’t think it will help.”

Rhodey glanced between them, realisation dawning on his face. Then he glanced at Tony.

“Just… consider surgery, okay?”

“I make no promises,” Tony called after Rhodey as he left the lab. He turned back to find Loki’s gaze still on him.

“I know you don’t believe in magic, Stark, but I believe I can help.”

Tony laughed, dryly, without humour. “It won’t.”

“And how do you know this?”

“Because I have Hanahaki for  _ you _ !” It felt good to get it off of his chest, though he hadn’t expected to ever actually admit it to Loki. For a moment, the two just stood there in silence, Tony shifting slightly with nerves, Loki just gaping at him, shocked.

“Stark… I don’t know how I feel about you.”

The words nearly broke what was left of Tony’s heart, but he didn’t dare let the emotion show on his face. Instead, his body did the work for him, coughing up more flowers and petals and blood. 

He heard a sharp intake of breath from the direction of Loki, and a moment later a cool, smooth hand was gently cupping his cheek. He lifted his gaze to see Loki, faces inches from Tony’s own, his eyes trained on Tony’s lips.

“Can I try something?” Loki murmured, and Tony was helpless to refuse; he truly did love the god before him, and would do anything for him. All he could do was nod, breathless, a few droplets of blood still settled on his lips from the flowers.

“Can I kiss you?”

Of all the things Tony expected Loki to ask of him in that moment, he didn’t expect this. He should have, with the way Loki was acting, but he hadn’t. Again, all he could do was nod.

And then Loki was leaning in, slowly, cautiously. Tony didn’t dare move, barely dared to take another breath before Loki’s lips were on his.

It was nothing like any of the women Tony had ever kissed in his life. Loki’s lips were as cool as the rest of him, and the kiss was gentle, tender, almost timid. 

After a moment, Tony found the courage to kiss back, gently. He’d forgotten the blood still on his lips, or how hesitant Loki had seemed to kiss him to begin with. Tony leaned into the kiss a little, and Loki pulled him closer.

Experimentally, Tony ran his tongue over Loki’s bottom lip. He could feel Loki smirk against his lips for a moment before the god pulled back. His gaze met Tony’s, soft and fond.

“You know what, Stark? I think I might actually know how I feel about you.”

Normally, Tony would make some snarky remark at this. Instead, he held his breath, staying quiet.

“I think I might love you.”

“Ow!” Tony yelped as pain exploded behind his ear for a moment, then something fell to the ground with a soft thud. Tony glanced over to spot a flower bud, and he turned back to Loki with a smile.

“That’s all I needed to hear,” he said quietly before pressing his lips to Loki’s once more.

**Author's Note:**

> Y’all I literally SCREAMED when I received my card and saw this was on here... I love Hanahaki disease so much and I need to write more of it.
> 
> Anyways this was going to be a lot longer, with more Tony/Loki flirting and dancing around each other... then I went “lol nah” and just made it this length.


End file.
